I always wanted to go to college. Even when I was 10 I knew exactly what I wanted to do. My friends are all going. They laugh and smile and try to get me to follow them and leave this behind and let the chips fall where they may. But I can't. I can't walk away from taking care of my mother. She is all of the family I have left. After the head-on collision last year that took my dad and my two sisters and left my mother paralyzed from the waist down and only partial use of her left hand, I can not leave her care to someone else. I'm all the family she needs and I won't go away, my heart won't let me. I will make the sacrifice gladly knowing that I am a blessing to my mother. I can get a job nearby and always be here doing the work I know is most important.

As time goes by, though now I am young, opportunities will open up to me. I know because my faith is in the God of Heaven in whom I trust. I will someday get married and have children, and my children may be able to live the life that I am not able to. In all my life I will take the care of my mother that my dad is not here to do, and I will not forget the efforts my mom and dad took to bring me and my sisters into this world. A sacrifice of caring should not be a burden that has taken me from my chosen course, but rather only a change of direction that God has provided.

     Hebrews 13:12-17 -  ¹² Wherefore Jesus also, that he might sanctify the people with his own blood, suffered without the gate. ¹³ Let us go forth therefore unto him without the camp, bearing his reproach. ¹⁴ For here have we no continuing city, but we seek one to come. ¹⁵ By him therefore let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually, that is the fruit of our lips giving thanks to his name. ¹⁶ But to do good and to communicate forget not: for with such sacrifices God is well pleased. ¹⁷ Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.

To rebel over and over and over I see my life going nowhere fast. My eyes see things that I know are wrong and I do nothing to change it. I often wonder what is wrong with me that I keep letting myself go in ways I really don't won't to go. It's like I'm attached to a rope twenty feet long and every time I try to turn around and go the other way, (the right way), I run out of rope. Sometimes I want to take that rope and hang myself with it then this nightmare would be over, but my heart convicts me otherwise. My mother is never too busy to listen to my thoughts, to my pleas for help, even though I turn away after she has helped me. My dad, though always busy making a living, never turns me away. He always takes his time to make sure my needs are met. I rebel and still they sacrifice so much for me, wow!

     Philippians 4:17-19 -  ¹⁷ Not because I desire a gift: but I desire fruit that may abound to your account. ¹⁸ But I have all, and abound: I am full, having received of Epaphroditus the things which were sent from you, an odour of a sweet smell, a sacrifice acceptable, wellpleasing to God. ¹⁹ But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.

     John 10:11 -   I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd lays down His life for the sheep. 

     Galatians 2:20 -   I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me. 

     Corinthians 5:21 -  For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him. 

     1 Peter 1:13-19 -  ¹³ Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; ¹⁴ As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance: ¹⁵ But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; ¹⁶ Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy. ¹⁷ And if ye call on the Father, who without respect of persons judgeth according to every man's work, pass the time of your sojourning here in fear: ¹⁸ Forasmuch as ye know that ye were not redeemed with corruptible things, as silver and gold, from your vain conversation received by tradition from your fathers; ¹⁹ But with the precious blood of Christ, as of a lamb without blemish and without spot:

     John 1:7 -  but if we walk in the Light as He Himself is in the Light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.  

    Mark 8:33&34 -  ³³ But when he had turned about and looked on his disciples, he rebuked Peter, saying, Get thee behind me, Satan: for thou savourest not the things that be of God, but the things that be of men. ³⁴ And when he had called the people unto him with his disciples also, he said unto them, Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me.

     Mark 10:43-45 -  ⁴³ But so shall it not be among you: but whosoever will be great among you, shall be your minister: ⁴⁴ And whosoever of you will be the chiefest, shall be servant of all. ⁴⁵ For even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.

    Philippians 1:21-26 -   ²¹ For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. ²² But if I live in the flesh, this is the fruit of my labour: yet what I shall choose I wot not. ²³ For I am in a strait betwixt two, having a desire to depart, and to be with Christ; which is far better: ²⁴ Nevertheless to abide in the flesh is more needful for you. ²⁵ And having this confidence, I know that I shall abide and continue with you all for your furtherance and joy of faith; ²⁶ That your rejoicing may be more abundant in Jesus Christ for me by my coming to you again.